Bumper stickers are very popular in the US, and certainly have a presence in the UK, so I am assuming they pop up in most countries. As an English person, I have trawled through pages of bumper sticker quotes looking for those that meet two criteria: that the humor crosses the pond intact, and that the quote is not a direct insult to the driver in the car behind.
This, of course, means that any jokes at the expense of presidents of the US and jokes about certain areas of America are not included in this list. I have found more than 70 creative and funny quotes that meet the challenge and they are listed below – I hope they make you smile.
Bumper Sticker Quotes to Make You Smile
- A diplomat is a person who thinks twice before saying nothing
- Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it
- Give your child mental blocks for Christmas
- If you are feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it
- My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right
- It doesn’t matter what temperature a room is; it’s always room temperature
- I’m serious; it was a joke
- Reality is a nice place but I wouldn’t want to live there
- Do unto others before they do unto you
- Don’t worry about life; you’re not going to survive it anyway
- Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two or more
- In God we trust; all others must pay cash
- If everything is coming your way then you’re in the wrong lane
- The world is coming to an end. Please log off
- I have always been crazy; but it kept me from going insane
- If you cannot convince them, confuse them
- My other car sticker is funny
- Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes
- Warning: Dates in the calendar are closer than they appear
- I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it
- If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition
- I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
- Cover me. I’m changing lanes
- Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?
- Jesus is coming… Look busy
- If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
- Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu??
- Everything Is Somewhere
- Please don’t hit me I’m a pedestrian trapped in a car
- The good thing about small cars is that you can fit twice as many into a traffic jam
- God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts
- We are the people our parents warned us about
- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
- There are only three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t
- Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after
- I started out with nothing and still have most of it left
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet
- I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
- Don’t follow me, I’m lost
- Boldly going nowhere
- I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
- Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory
- Chicken Little was right!
- Humpty Dumpty didn’t fall… he was pushed
- Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it
- What’s another word for Thesaurus?
- Just say NO to negativity
- I didn’t believe in reincarnation in my last life either
- The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead
- I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability
- To err is human, to blame it on somebody else is management potential
- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed
- Kiss my rear, pay the bill
- If you can read this, you are driving too close
- First things first, but not necessarily in that order
- Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be
- Life would be easier if I had the source code
- If at first you don’t succeed. Call it version 1.0.
- There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t
- Wouldn’t it be nice if there were an Escape key for all our problems
Conclusion
As you were reading through these quotes, did I hear lots of groans and murmurings of ‘yeah, yeah, the old ones are the best’? Well of course, some of these one-liners are really old, but they are still funny, and would certainly make me smile if I was in a traffic jam looking at those quotes on a bumper sticker in front of me. You can definitely style and design these quotes to suit your own preference. A beautiful typography-designed quote will have more than double the effect.
Do you have a bumper sticker on your vehicle, and if so, does it have a quote that we have missed from this list? Have you seen a bumper sticker quote that you found amusing that isn’t on this list?
Please share your quotes with us in the comments below and I will let you know if the humor successfully crosses from US English to UK English.
