Why Designers are Misfits and How to Act “Sane”

Why Designers are Misfits and How to Act “Sane”

Let’s face facts — we’re weird! We, as creative children, never followed the rules but always played fair. We colored outside the lines and even made our own lines. Our own families referred to us as the “strange child” while our siblings received the praise for being “good” and doing as they were told. Somewhere along the road of life, someone must have told them that alcohol abuse and multiple divorces was the way to be “good.”

Square Peg in a Round Hole
Image credit: Bigstockphoto

Being A Designer and Fitting In

If That’s “Sanity” Then I’ll Take Strange!

We never ratted out our fellow students but were always the first ones that were ratted upon—even when we did nothing wrong. This is the plight of the creative mind. A couple of hundred years ago, we would have been hanged as witches. A few decades ago, we were accused of being communists. The answer to all of that is “nyet!”

This is why we face such disrespect from clients and the general populace. Non-creatives love what we do. They use the websites we design, collect the products we innovate, and admire the posters and other printed material we design, without our names, without credit, and with no increase in understanding that we provide the world and society with beauty and meaning.

Imagine a world without websites, no signs, no graphics for TV shows, magazine covers, packaging that shows consumers what they are buying, etc. We know our own value, which is why we get so angry and depressed every time a prospective client smiles wide, and demands free work for lame promises of money later, exposure, or rich friends who, unlike the client him/herself, will actually drive dump trucks of money up to the designer’s door for projects. No other profession faces the same problem.

Skull
Image credit: Bigstockphoto

Often it is our peers, if one can use that term for some creatives, that help bury our efforts to be respected. It can be the designer who is the one who takes a pittance or works for free when a client claims they can get their website done for free or $50.

It’s the dilettante who claims to be a designer, but never actually works as a designer, the man or woman who doesn’t need the income to pay bills, and works for ridiculous fees, and the designer who reinvents ways to work with clients that lowers the respect for others who strive to be professionals and support their families by doing what we love to do— what we were born to do, because our creative minds force us to be those strange little children who see the world in a different and beautiful way.

What the Hell is “Enigmatic Wizardry”?

At a lecture by a large design studio, where the owner discussed using transparency in the work process with a client, carefully working with the client so they could see and experience the proper steps the designer takes to create the finished product, one designer interrupted to insist that a designer shouldn’t involve the client at all. He boasted that design should be “enigmatic wizardry” and no contact or progress should be reported to the client from the beginning until the final design is delivered.

Of course, this is unrealistic and speaks of someone who labels themselves as a designer, yet hasn’t actually done any design work. “Dumbledork,” as he was from then on known, received confounded looks and disapproving head-shakes from the professionals at that event. Unfortunately, differing ideas of how to deal not only with clients, but with the design process is the bane of our industry.

Magician
Image credit: Bigstockphoto

Some blame art schools for not giving the proper professional training to students. Others sigh and say it’s the very strengths of being creative that make it so difficult for designers to deal with non-creatives, harking back to the schoolyard, and our differences from the other children.

Kill Them With Professionality!

In the interest of creating a stronger foundation of professional behavior among designers, and changing how we are judged and treated by clients, I humbly present the following rules of engagement, if you will, on how each and every designer should represent themselves in their working lives, on behalf of our profession, to present a united front so many organizations have tried for years.

Contract or Death!

A high percentage of freelancers don’t use a contract or any sort of written agreement with a client. Whether it’s called a “contract,” a “work order,” or a “designer engagement,” nothing speaks of being professional like having a road map of what is expected from both parties. Free contracts are available from Docracy.com.

What business doesn’t use a contract? Clients freely sign contracts for phone service, equipment leasing, office space and even janitorial services. So why are the weird kids the ones who don’t deserve the same legal agreements? If a client refuses to accept a contract, they are planning on cheating you on the project, or believe that the fee you are being paid entitles them to whatever they want, and, in the end, whatever they decide to pay. When a client refuses to accept a written agreement, use these qualifying assertions to educate them:

  1. Without a contract, the copyright to the work cannot be transferred or guaranteed. If they still refuse, do the project, get paid (hopefully) and then inform the client, once the work is published/goes live, that they do not own the copyright and must remove all of the work. That’ll teach them a lesson in signing a contract!
  2. Increase the fee by at least double before delivering the project and when the client goes ballistic, say that there’s no contract, so it’s his/her tough luck. Then laugh maniacally!
  3. Include a contract form at the bottom of every email you send the client. Always change the terms of the contract each time, increasing the fee and decreasing the amount of work you will do. When the client finally responds with angry words, Speak some nonsensical language and end every sentence with “poo-poo!”

Pay Me!

While a 50% upfront deposit on a project is the preferred amount, many projects run on a third upfront, a third after approved sketches/wireframes and the final payment being made upon delivery. You will find that most clients insist that you accept payment in full in 30, 60, 90, 120 days or “eventually.” There are even clients that want to pay depending on how the project works for their ROI, which can take months to assess. Stick to your guns about a deposit and milestone payments!

If a client refuses to pay upfront due to check-cutting procedures, assure him/her that a check, even at the largest corporations, can be cut within 48 hours. Here are some helpful strategies to get a deposit:

  1. Remind the client that you are not a bank or credit card and the deposit covers working expenses while you are dedicating yourself to his/her project. Also remind them that the rent and electric bills won’t wait for 30, 60, 90, or 120 days to be paid. If they still balk, call the electric company and say you’re the client/business owner and demand to have the power shut off immediately. The client will be confused and angry. Call them in the middle of their panic and ask why there’s a foreclosure sign in front of their house (you’re a designer—make a sign on your computer and post it on the client’s house). Then tell them that it’s not fun when payments aren’t made on time. Follow that with maniacal laughter.
  2. Refuse to start without a deposit. You might want to wait and bring it up after the client calls to complain that several weeks have passed since the start of the project and he/she hasn’t seen or heard from you. By that time they will be desperate and pay anything as the deadline looms large. Thank them and laugh maniacally!
  3. Since all phones have caller ID, you’ll know when a client is calling. Answer the call by screaming, “STOP BOTHERING ME FOR PAYMENT! MY CHEAP-ASS OF A CLIENT SEEMS TO THINK I HAVE NO NEED TO BE PAID, SO WHY CAN’T YOU WAIT?” When the client starts to speak, say, “oh, Mr./Ms. Cheap-ass… I mean Mr./Ms. (insert name here). I thought it was someone else calling.”

Do You a Favor? Okay—Bend Over!

Why wouldn’t the weird kids be stupid enough to be pushed into doing more work than contracted? After all, the schoolyard bully is now in charge of the marketing and incompetent, alcoholic department. It was easy for them and their gang of toadies to pick on the artsy kids and take their lunch money, so why shouldn’t the request, “you wouldn’t mind doing me a favor and adding some peripheral designs to this project, even though there’s no further budget?” be met with the same enthusiasm as when he/she pinned you down in the playground and asked, “you wouldn’t mind giving me your lunch money and letting me give you a wedgie, too?”

Keep that bullying in mind when asked by a smiling jerk for free work and you will find the strength to take back your lunch money, and pull that wedgied underwear out of your ass crack. You’re a grown up now and the bully can be arrested for stealing your lunch money, then sent to prison where he’ll need to learn to like the taste of prison food… and penis!

Try these handy tips for objecting to doing free work:

  1. When the scope of the project expands, but there’s no budget for further work, get business-like and speak in terms the client will understand. “I understand budgetary constraints, and like any business project, when one thing has to expand, other things have to constrict. Let’s see where we can cut corners to accommodate these changes.”
  2. “I’d love to do you this favor, but, as you know, this is a business arrangement and favors are not a consideration as it will take time away from other clients’ projects and that’s not fair to them. Certainly you wouldn’t want to be one of those people who lose out due to some other company’s budgetary restrictions?”
  3. “Would you do me a favor in return? Order me some office supplies under your company account to equal the fee for these favors?” Then turn him/her into their superior for theft from the company—once the project is complete, of course!

Stop Being the Weird Kid!

Are you a 32 year-old goth? STOP IT! The only master of evil and darkness is the client. An old business axiom is to dress for success, so when you are meeting with a client, dress as they do (even if they are a female and you’re a male). Psychologically, they will raise you to their level, or at least a little more than if you’re wearing hipster clothing.

Goth
Image credit: Bigstockphoto

Here’s a checklist for certain styles you should avoid when meeting with a client:

  • In person, dress as if you were going to an important funeral.
  • By Skype, wear a shirt, tie, and jacket/nice blouse, even if you’re naked from the waist down. The webcam won’t show your naughty bits unless you stand up during the video meeting.
  • Lose the piercings! Top executives keep them hidden under suits. Also, use makeup to hide neck and facial tattoos.
  • Don’t curse, unless you’re dealing with Google, Apple, or a dock workers union. They admire a person who swears with panache!
  • Never agree with anything President Obama has done.
  • Tell the story of when you had to decide between Harvard and an online art school. Claim the online art school was the only choice after you returned from three tours of duty in Iraq, then twitch a bit. This will scare the client and they won’t screw with you.
  • Never wear a knit cap to a meeting unless you’ve lost your hair to chemotherapy, or the client is a knit cap company. It’s just stupid looking, especially in the summer!
  • Don’t use text-speak in emails or conversations. It’s not a real language. Save it for your tweets and texts—but not to the client—or your mother.

Conclusion

While we were the weird kids, we grew up to be the adults who create great things out of nothing. People will never know us by name but love and cherish our creations, but when faced with paying for them, well, that’s another matter. The unfortunate thing about being creative is we must also understand that society, from the time of great minds seeking the answers to the universe, and being labelled as heretics, branded as witches and burned, or hanged, has not been comfortable, to say the least, with those who think differently from the mainstream of society.

Big Kid
Image credit: Bigstockphoto

Yes, it is ridiculous, but we, as people who must ply our trade to make a living, have to be smarter than those who try to lower us for our visions and, although sane, act as insane as the society in which we live. Blend in, be accepted but never forget to keep our minds free and crazy. As Steve Jobs once said (and being that Apple has more money reserves than the American treasury, he just might be smarter than those who claim to be our best and brightest or so they keep telling us):

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

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